A Scarlet Letter

I remember when I read that book. The main character had a beautiful little girl, I could relate to that character the most. Her life was tragic, suspensful and a classic.


When I write and feel the paper cuts on my hand.... It's my Reminder, my dream is about to come true! 

I sometimes fear I give to much of myself away in my writing. But I don't know any writer who hasn't given themselves completely to their work and not been recognized as Brilliant! 

"if It doesn't make you feel there is no point to put it on paper" 

It baffles me that a house could give me nightmares. Just thinking about what I saw last night. You were scared and I felt pity for you. My bed in the same place under the window was the place I stood before closing my eyes to finally be at peace. I don't know how to escape these flash backs!!! Idk how else to face these fears except embrace them as a part of me. The one thing I constantly forget to tell myself is I love me!! I love you Stephanie. "my dreams gave me closure I couldn't attain in real life." If I had a phone that night Santos would have been the only person I would have called just to reassure me that everything was gonna be okay. A thought replaced, memories that will never be forgiven. Even God hated!!! 

One added rule is if you left me once, how do you expect for me to trust you, again. Crazy is doing the same thing wanting a different result. If I drive you crazy that is your problem not mine. 

So, I say I love Santos Cruz but why was it that I did?? Well because he offered me what I wish Gilbert had; A job, a car and he was good to lily! The exact same thing I could have had with Gilbert and nothing more! A family! That is what this is about. I miss having Gilbert because we were a family!  I'm tired of hating and loving him because of the empty promises!! 

When you walked threw my house and didn't understand what was written on the walls.... None had the balls to ask me what it all meant!  Self- expression.... My family should have never gave me walls to paint!!! 

I sat in my living room.... Hoping to create a back drop worthy of the one who gave me a real reason to love my self! A friend who stuck around, one who saw things from my view and left me where I belonged!!! "Get inside it's raining." I couldn't write a thank you that would express my gratitude!!! Even thinking about it..... Idk where I would start! Lolie your pie graphs were wonderful and humors, you know why? Cuz you were the only girl out of bunch of boys, ironically so Am I! 

Feeling and looking like a Star!!-- a new word not in the dictionary!  
"StephanieLily" 

Lennon, Pooh Bear Slut, my party hoppers!!! Peace be with you! *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*