Written July 26th, 2011

PAPER TRAILS..... Are worst than pictures!! I don't leave her alone for a second. While she takes a bath, I enjoy just watching her play with her toys! My mom bought me a new journal! It's so pretty! She has already given me so much!

I'm about to get the life I've dreamed of! Peace... Love... Joy....  I looked at her room and thought of what I would want as a child. She can never sleep with out a night light. So I am going to make Christmas light nettings into stars above her bed with the other lights spell her whole name! She will love living here! there will be the day of her begging to come home cuz she loves it here! I will wait till then! That will be the day of my greatest accomplishment! I constantly feel lost with out her! To have to share her is the worst idea in the World!

My family grew from hard work and long hours in the fields! I told everyone the truth if they asked or not! It caused physical pain if I didn't! And that's why they thought I was bipolar like my mother! But the truth is nothing to be ashamed of! It's what has given me back my life. To where even when I have my nightmares of reality.... I still look forward to the end of those 24 hours! Just to start the new day! With my child and her hello kitten! And I can handle my dreams.. It reminds me that I haven't fallen from God but that he is with me. Last night was the prove I needed... And the reason I have a testimony of going from Darkness into Light! That little voice of her's is so precious like a stone with out price! This Child was not given to Gilbert's family. There was no death in his family where a life needed to be replaced! Her middle name is Jennifer for Juanita Padilla Mendoza!