A fine line of Do's and Dont's in business

I have this memory of sitting in my spare bedroom with Cassidy (maryjane) and Gilbert. I think we were smoking a bowl. I looked down at the ground and found a used condom! Cassidy's eyes look at Gilbert and had that giggle look like oops. I look at Gilbert and he has that look in his eye of pure shock and (omg)!! He thinks I didn't know. But even when I came home one night from porterville. I come in and find Cassidy asleep on the couch and Gilbert on the recliner.... He starts yelling at me and hitting me. But I didn't have the strength to stand up to him and her. Cuz I knew I had just walked in on them having sex! It was two against one! I wouldn't have won the fight!!! So I took the beatings and put up with the lies! Now that I don't and I'm not going back to it!! People wonder why!! I have battered woman disease!!! Not only cuz I read it in a book but the symptoms and pain deep down in my heart! I told Gilbert he broke my spirit... That sad part is how true that statement was, its not until now did I realize it!! 

I feel like Kratos from God of war because I know I can ask for forgiveness, but these memories will never go away.

So, many stories of love and hate. I had forgiven the ones that had hurt me even without them asking for it.... Because they did not know what they did wrong, it wasn't their fault. They really only had half the story.

I was the one calling and putting Gilbert in jail time and time again. But, to hide the truth while there was still a chance before I sobered up and relived these moments no one can believe!

While, my generation was beginning to move on with their futures I was left to my own devices trying to figure out where it went overboard. What was inside me that I didn't let out? How long had I been lied to? It came down to the second week of school..... It hasn't take long for me to figure it out, Thank goodness I have a habit of writing things down before I forgot! I will no longer hide what has made me stronger because it didn't fucking kill me!

Aug. 18 2011 do you remember that date?